Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Your Plan vs. Reality


Chris Newcomb, M.Div.

Life has a way of getting things done whether we agree with it or not, don't you think?  I know more times than not I have grand plans and they often lay crumbled at the feet of Life as it sits on its chair up high looking down low with a bellowing laugh saying, "Silly human, your plan is not my reality!"  Checkmate.  

I exaggerate (clearly).  The truth is, however, there is a disconnect for many of us when it comes to the idea of how reality should be and how reality actually is.  There is a reason why psychologists use the word 'denial' to indicate a person's self-deception to the current reality they are trying to evade (see: Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, the list goes on...).  

We want the straight line to the finish line uninterrupted, unscathed, obstacle-free!  Of course, we do because we're humans and we like pleasure.  It's no fun to lose.  It's no fun to struggle.  It's much more fun to hit the ball out of the park on the first hit without experiencing the weight room, running in 100 degree heat, and stretching before every game.  It's way better to razzle dazzle your boss with your presentation he gave 6 weeks ago that you kept mum versus having to ask for....wait for!

The reality is, pardon the pun, sometimes reality doesn't cooperate.  Like Mr. Stickman in the cartoon above, our straight line becomes a valley with rocks at the bottom tearing up the proverbial tires of life we ride on to get to our final destination.  Upon the incline from the valley, life may have prepared a nice cesspool of distraction, setbacks, and obstacles to try and sink our little boat before we get to the other side.  And it is there in the middle of the cesspool of life riding on our little boats that we are forced to ask this question: Do I accept these circumstances?

In addiction recovery, control and acceptance are key concepts to meditate and cogitate for they hold the keys to relapse and sobriety, respectively.  Giving up control will allow one to move towards sobriety and recovery.  Trying hard to grasp control of anyone and anything will create the reverse.  At the other end of the spectrum is the discipline of acceptance and, believe me, it is a discipline.  Time and again, addicts and alcoholics must learn the practice of acceptance:  accepting their failures. accepting their successes, accepting their consequences, accepting their losses, etc.  It is in active addiction where acceptance is scarce.  I don't like my job so I use heroin to deal with my lack of acceptance.  I got in a fight with my mother so I drink myself into a stupor because of my lack of acceptance towards her attitude.  You see the point?  Acceptance leads to freedom.

However, further clarity is due to totally grasp the  concept.  Accepting the current reality is not necessarily an endorsement of all that goes on therein.  What I mean to say is, if I am victimized through physical violence, at some level, I have to accept that I got victimized so I can go to the hospital to get the appropriate treatment.  That doesn't make the violence good or right.  Accepting it, however, can make me move past it and it's effects sober and without relapse.

The famous saying goes, "Insanity if doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results."  Acceptance is the other side of that coin.  Acceptance is realizing what reality really is, not arguing with it, and then taking action, when appropriate, to make the necessary changes to fix the situation while maintaining sobriety and recovery.  Isn't it time to accept your reality?

If you or someone you love is in need of detox off of opiates, alcohol, benzos, Methadone, or Suboxone, please do not hesitate to call Jennifer Pius or Amy Stewart at 1.877.773.3869 today.  We are here you!

1 comment:

  1. I'm suffering from depression, but I'm feeling better since I've found for myself that no one's life is as easy as I think it is! Everybody has their ups and downs. It's really not a straight line to the finish! I hope more people will read that article and more important-understand it!