Chris Newcomb, M.Div.
Reality Bites. It's actually the name of a movie in the 1990's that was popular amongst 20-30 somethings about the sometimes cruel nature of life, love, and other mysteries. Certainly, the title is a bit humorous albeit somewhat cynical. And truthful. At times.
Acceptance is a very difficult concept to practice even though it is quite easy to comprehend. Reality is indifferent to our wants, needs, and desires. We often spend a lot of time and energy at odds with reality. We expect this. We want that. We get something else. Sometimes, we get more than we expect and are pleasantly surprised. Either way, it is what it is.
What is the key to acceptance? There isn't one. It is a choice. It is the tough choice to choose to accept whatever reality brings and know that you can persevere through that particular reality in time and space.
Feelings about reality are a completely different but related topic. Often, it is not necessarily the reality of a situation that is bad rather it is the emotions that are elicited from that reality that make it bad. Expectations are future resentments waiting to happen. When our expectations are dashed, resentment is easy to pick up. Choosing to accept reality as it is AND also honor our feelings about that reality is the healthiest way to live life. We must take it a step further and examine our resentments and seek to let them go.
I had a friend who would always say, "it is what it is" and it used to annoy me. As I've grown in my understanding and comfort with that notion, I see the wisdom of his words. The reality is, pardon the pun, it is what it is and it isn't what it could or should be, so to speak. That fact is indisputable.
In the end, reality isn't all that bad. Think of the alternative. Learning to accept where we are, who we are, and what happens or doesn't happen in our life is our biggest challenge. When we begin to do that, life doesn't seem as bad. Reality bites, for sure, but often times she kisses. Don't forget to pucker up in expectation!
At The Coleman Institute, we specialize in helping people get clean clean and stay clean from alcohol and drugs. If you or someone you love has felt the bite of addiction, we would love to help you heal. If you are in need of detox from opiates, alcohol, benzos, Methadone, or Suboxone, please do not hesitant to call Jennifer Pius or Amy Stewart at 1-877-77-DETOX (33869).