Thursday, September 13, 2012

Sarcasm: You Got a Problem With that?!?!

Chris Newcomb, M.Div.

Admittedly, writing this column was a lot of fun!  I love sarcasm especially if it is in good clean fun.  Most great comedy movies are built around sarcasm.  However, sarcasm can be very damaging to those to whom it is directed.

Sarcasm, as defined by, is, "a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark."  For example, if I say to you, "You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny," I have just used sarcasm and lost a blog reader in just one sentence!  Of course, I would never say that to you!   But you get my point.  Sarcasm can wound the soul very quickly.  That's why in recovery we want to avoid it like the plague!

Often times, sarcasm is really built on a foundation of unresolved anger.  We all get angry and that is normal and ok.  What we do with the anger is what is most important.  Using drugs or drinking are not acceptable practices for those who are choosing sobriety and recovery.  Dealing with your anger is the best decision to make so that you can stay sober.  Here's how...

Be direct!  That's right.  I said it.  It's hard to do.  Telling your true inner feelings is very difficult especially when the other person is your boss, best friend, spouse, or Mike Tyson.  Leave Mr. Tyson alone and go to therapy for that one!   It is difficult when people who anger us are most close to us because we fear loss of intimacy and relationship with that person.  

In order to resolve anger in a healthy way, you must understand why you are angry.  Once you figure out why you are angry, you can then explain that to the offender.  You can ask the offender to discontinue that line of behavior(s).  If necessary, you can protect yourself by limiting contact with the offending party until you feel more safe emotionally. 

The best way to deal with these issues is to deal directly with your anger with the person that you have the issue and then let humor play a healing role in the equation.  This keeps the two from being mixed and confused.  The other person will clearly know where you stand and then you can get to the business of repairing the relationship.  Isn't that what we want in the end anyway?  Resolution is a great thing!

At The Coleman Institute, we specialize in helping people get clean and stay clean from alcohol and drugs.  We help patients get clean so they can learn to deal with their feelings and not choose to resolve them through substance abuse!  If you or someone you love is in need of detox from opiatesalcohol, benzos, Methadone, or Suboxone, please do not hesitant to call Jennifer Pius at 1-877-77-DETOX (33869).  Help, hope and healing begin here!

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