Thursday, September 23, 2010

“Just Between You and Me”


It’s September! Summer is over and school is back in session. Life goes on, as they say, and recovery must continue! We’ve been going through the 12 Steps this year and we now arrive at one of the most difficult of the 12, Step 9 which states, “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” It is hard enough to be honest with yourself about your mistakes much less with the person that you have harmed. But, the Steps call for living in right relationship at least by cleaning up our side of the street with those we have harmed in order to stay clean and sober. To learn more about how this works, please see the A.A. Big Book, pgs. 76-84.


In the best of situations, there are two parts to Step 9. The first component is confession. The second is forgiveness. It is the addict’s responsibility to confess unequivocally their wrong doing. It is the option of the victim to forgive. Whether or not forgiveness takes place, confession is still important to help the addict/alcoholic stay clean and sober. Lingering mistakes and foibles left undone only serve to sear the conscience with guilt and shame which leads to using. Resolution is the order of the day. It is the only thing that brings peace.


In 1995, rock band D.C. Talk released a very powerful song about confession and forgiveness. The song is called “Just Between You and Me”. I have reprinted some of the lyrics to the song because they say so much in so little a space. I will let their words close out my column this month. Read them. Meditate on them. Share them. Most importantly, live them. Just between you and me…you’ll be glad you did!




“Just Between You and Me”

D.C. Talk


(Verse 1)
Sorrow is a lonely feeling
Unsettled is a painful place
I’ve lived with both for far too long now
Since we’ve parted ways
I’ve been wrestling with my conscience
And I found myself to blame
If there's to be any resolution
I’ve got to peel my pride away

(Chorus)
Just between you and me
I’ve got something to say
Wanna get it straight
Before the sun goes down
Just between you and me
Confession needs to be made
Recompense is my way to freedom now
Just between you and me
I’ve got something to say


(Verse 2)
If confession is the road to healing
Forgiveness is the Promised Land
I’m reaching out in my conviction
I’m longing to make amends

So, I’m sorry for the words I’ve spoken
For I’ve betrayed a friend
We’ve got a love that's worth preserving
And a bond I will defend


(Chorus)
Just between you and me
I’ve got something to say
Wanna get it straight
Before the sun goes down
Just between you and me
Confession needs to be made
Recompense is my way to freedom now
Just between you and me
I’ve got something to say

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